Being Bored vs. Being Comfortable in a Relationship – How to Spot the Difference

The first time you met, sparks, were flying, he/she made you see color when all you saw in the past was black and white. It was exciting, something new, someone new, new experiences. You would make plans, go for dates, do crazy things only the two of you knew about. You couldn’t wait for them to call or text.  The flirting was out-of-this-world, quite literally.!

Six months down the line, things start to feel a little old. You wonder if you are comfortable with each other or you are just bored with your ‘situationship.’ Am I truly bored? Is my partner not the right one for me?

Or, it could be that the two of you are perfect together, and you have just hit a new level in your partnership — a level that involves fewer butterflies and a more snug love.
However, how can you tell?

Well, there are a few things or signs if you may,  that can help you distinguish whether it’s boredom or comfort.

One, boredom, is never desired in any relationship. However, if you’ve hit a long rut of boredom, you might just be at the end of the line with this relationship.

The other, comfort, is actually wonderful. It means you and your partner are being yourselves, and you are happy together. It’s something that naturally happens in a loving relationship.

So which is it?

Here are five differences between boredom and comfort. By reading these, you will be able to tell the next step in your love.

 

 

1. If You Are Bored, You Desire Something New. However, if Comfortable You Are Perfect with the Situation

 Romance gesture

Boredom means: you feel stuck, you can’t wait for some new adventure and you prefer being around your friend than your partner because, with them, it’s always the same old love/stuff.

You yearn for something new and different.

The thing about boredom is that you will feel like you’ve exhausted all of the options with your partner.

Comfort, on the other hand, comes with ‘no’ desire for anything new. You feel at home and relaxed. Your partner is your home. They are the person you want to be with to let your guard down from the outside world, and at the end of each day, they are the person you want to be close to and cuddle with.

When you compare the two, comfort is definitely the better emotion for long-term love. If you feel like you want something new, then you may just be bored.

 

2. When Bored, You Look for Solutions Whereas Comfort is Fine, All is Well.

 adventure

If you are bored, you are desperately trying to find a solution. After all, boredom transcribes to; lack of options and excitement.  So it will be natural for you to look for ways to remedy that.

In a relationship, a “solution” could be you are either trying to spice things up with your partner, or it could be a means to an ending; you need someone new.

When you are comfortable, however,  you will feel great. It will be like the two of you were meant to be together, and you don’t need any spicing up or ‘swinging’ adventures.

If comfort is what you feel, then your relationship will last for the long haul.

 

3. When Bored You Feel Unhappy; Comfort Means Happiness

 
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If you are in a boring relationship, you feel like your partner isn’t cutting it and you have no desire to be with them anymore. You feel stagnant as if you are in a stunted position.

So, if it’s boredom you are experiencing, it might be time to examine whether the two of you are better without each other.

With comfort, on the other hand, you feel happy and ecstatic that you found someone who just seems to get you — someone with whom you can just be yourself.

4. If You Are Bored You Want Out; If You Are Comfortable, You Feel   Safe

Boring

So, you feel unhappy and stagnated…so what’s next?

The next phase of a boring relationship is separation. You look for reasons why you should break up. The small arguments turn into a mount hill of problems, his friends become irritable, you don’t look forward to seeing him anymore and you no longer respond to his/her texts.

If you have thought it through and realize that you’re bored and unhappy, there’s not much that you can do. Sure, you could work on it, but after a certain point, you might just realize that the two of you aren’t meant to be.

With comfort, however, it’s a totally different ball game. You feel safe in his/her arms, you feel secure and you do not want to leave.

Boredom might precede a breakup. Comfort will definitely precede a lifelong love.

 

5. When You Are Bored You Are Restless; If You Are Comfortable, You Feel Peaceful

 Boring Relationshipth

Boredom comes with a feeling of restlessness. You feel unhappy and unable to come up with exciting plans for you and your partner. You feel stale and you can’t wait to ‘left’ this relationship.

You are itching to do something, anything, to relieve your boredom.

Comfort, on the other hand, comes with a tremendous feeling of peacefulness. You start questioning your past experiences. This experience is new and you just want to be with your partner.

Well, there is a time when everything seems just ‘meh’ in a relationship. If you feel you have come to a point where you are not excited, try to talk to your partner. Discuss your solutions and how to make the relationship better. Do not die of boredom.

If, however, nothing changes then it is time to move on.

 The true difference between being bored and being comfortable in a relationship is actually quite stark. Comfort comes with a lot of other positive emotions; boredom mostly comes with negative ones. It, however, takes two to tango. So you have to determine your own path.

So, if you feel like you are in a rut, use these tips to figure out what you’re feeling. You will be glad you did so that you can determine the next best step for your relationship!

 

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Mask Off

love yourselfFor the longest time since I can remember, I have always wanted to control every bit of my life.  When I don’t get things done my way, I become hysterical. I am one of those people who can easily get depressed and i know this yet i still let small things disturb me. So I find a piece of cloth somewhere it’s not supposed to be, what do I do? I take it to its supposed ‘ place.’ I find out that my friend’s life isn’t going as perfect as i hoped it would be, mostly their relationships, i butt in and make thing worse. I am just a perfectionist but probably a selfish one.

I was once a very good liar, probably the reason why ‘crime and law’ movies/TV shows are my favourite. I discovered this gift when I was in Campus. There’s a time I went to Mombasa by word of mouth, only to get cash sent tome and spend it on a party. I would have been a millionaire by now but ‘lies money’ doesn’t last. Don’t get it twisted though, I’m still a good liar.I can  still lie myself out of any situation depending on what it is. However,  I have come to discover that sometimes you can lie too much until you come to believe in your lies. A lifestyle that can ruin you completely.

I had a friend who, in his imagination, his family was filthy rich(by the way why do we refer being extremely rich as filthy? I mean poverty should be the filthy lifestyle. In this time and space, i don’t think anyone would want to be poor. Money is all we are working hard for) Anyway that’s a story for another day.So, he led on this life trying to impress everyone. He would take people(‘his so called friends) out to luxurious clubs, pay for flights that he obviously couldn’t afford. He led this life through stealing other people’s cash or involving himself in very questionable activities. It become an urge that he couldn’t stop. He lost his family, true friends and now no one can invite him to their place because they fear his kleptomaniac acts. You know when you let something control you, you become a slave to it. I know most people are controlled by the urge to become rich or famous, but then learn to balance between your soul and these material things. I am slowly learning to tell the truth and I am actually becoming good at it.

I think we all mask ourselves  sometimes with these things to hide our deepest sorrows and regrets. I for example lied to hide myself from people. If you know me well, truly, I am a quirky,weird, critical person. But to those outside world, I am a care-free, happy-go-lucky, girl. I have been looking for a way to fit in with the world but I have learnt that, no matter how much you hide yourself and pretend to be someone you’re not, the world won’t accept you. You need to discover who you are and live by your own terms. Who cares about fitting in?I mean, being normal is such a bore. Don’t lose yourself in things of this world.They don’t last but your happiness does.I don’t want to die someday and go to God, yes I will go to heaven, and regret not having been me. I don;t want to come back as a cat( I hate cats… you come back as an animal you loathed…my theory) and start making music through ‘meowing’ everywhere or write stuff through my paws.

Money and fame aren’t the only things that control us. Love can also be toxic. We yearn for acceptance and attention. I don’t mean we are attention-seekers but we want to have someone see us. Someone who will love you for who you are and what you have to offer.Someone who will see your flaws and still see the beauty in them.Its not wrong yes but don’t let yourself get lost in this search. We like to blame our relationship issues on ‘daddy or mummy issues’. I know our generation has been one that has mostly been raised by either a single mum or dad. If your parents are still together count yourself lucky.

The lack of one parent can be a huge influence on your relationships.You try so hard to find acceptance from the person you are dating, but what you might not know is you sometimes try too hard to make them fill that void you have had till you push them away. However, this might just be a ‘you’ problem. It might be just a societal issue, where you are getting older and find yourself still alone so you accept anyone. It might just be an acceptance problem or hormones, who knows.

You get into something and don’t get what you needed, so you try to make that person give you what you want from them but it becomes impossible. You try to manipulate everything only to make things crumble. Other times you just want to be perfect for them. So you slowly(unconsciously) allow yourself to become a slave to a man or woman who might not be worth it. Sometimes you might have even found a good guy but you become so needy that you push them away. You re-mould yourself into someone you’re not in the effort to please this guy/girl. You let your passion and own feeling to be blinders  .That intensity can drive you mad and thus you become a slave. So you need to stop! Breathe. Re-discover yourself.

No one wants to deal with someone who constantly seeks for approval and reassurance while still demanding for things. They say ‘A candle that burns twice as bright, burns half as long’. So let things be. You might push something too fast that it burns out before you get to enjoy what you were intended to enjoy. Stop being a control-freak. I for one am happy with the guy I am with because i have learnt to let thing be. He might not be perfect but there is something that drew me to him and for me, that makes him perfect.  I  am not an easy person of course. I am way too analytical and I’ve major trust issues. But i learnt to let go and let God. If the person you are with is meant for you, nothing will come between you two. God will drive that relationship in the direction He feels is best.

You can’t control everything. So, learn to accept yourself. You are irreplaceable. You are special in whatever way you might be built. So, show the world who you really are. Don’t hold back. You don’t want to come back as some ‘after-life crisis-ed’ animal now, do you?

 

Diary of a Love Bugged Psychotic Girl

Decemberfunny-love-quotes-for-him 20th 2015 10.30am…. You passed by me. Focused on your work…not looking back. Hell,  I bet you didn’t even notice me checking you out. I have not been one to believe that love at first sight is real but I think I felt something that day. But maybe just maybe it was the insistent fly that kept poking my face and moving around me trying to distract me from the heavenly sight… You!

January 4th 2016 12.00noon… Fate’s long arms dragged me to where you were again. Sitting in that corner of our favorite restaurant. I watched  as you gobbled that sandwich. The way your food pipe drowned that food down to your stomach. Oh my!  It was a sight to behold… I silently wished  i’d been that snack… for you to just hold me and tear me down with such passion.

January 14th 2016 13.00pm… You sat next to me at that damned seminar. They say when you meet your crush and he looks at you for a moment,  smiles and says hey,  you get butterflies. But what butterflies do they get or feel? I felt bugs… love bugs… crawling inside me… I felt like cupid’s arrow was repeatedly  being pulled into and out of my body.  It was as if love was mocking me… I was in utter disbelief… You noticed me. 😈

January 20th 2016 16.00pm: You asked me out for lunch. I remember being so nervous. I wanted to look sharp yet soft. Sexy yet mildly decent. I think I rummaged  through everyone’s closet, including my mum’s trying to look for a perfect outfit to impress you. I am not the type with the best body types or face but I had to do my best. I had already imagined  us getting married. I didn’t want to lose you due to my poor fashion sense.If I did,  I’d vow to walk in the nude for the rest of my life. Damn these clothes we were subjected to wearing due to an apple… an apple! Eve… we still have a quarrel.

January 26th 2016 15.00pm…  You kissed me. Yes suckers he kissed me!  Me Njoki Wamahenja not Wambui,  Atieno,  Nduku or Saima. Me… a girl with the most hideous names,  a klutz,  paranoia stricken, neuropsychotic, tummy  balkanized me. At that moment I wished I could fly… to the sun and back. Maybe then I’d  come back hotter. Fly to the moon? Fly to it for who?  What will the moon give me apart from awkward shapes. Crescent, I don’t know full… am already round enough. Gibbous… the name itself is scary.

February 14th 2016…17.00pm… you finally asked for my hand in marriage… the ring was fantastic… yes all the haters were there applauding. Screaming for me. And yes I didn’t just run leaving you there kneeling,  claiming that you were requesting for a business partnership. No I said yes with a wide-faced grin. Almost beating you up for not putting that ring on my finger fast enough. It had been a week of true love,  the hardships we had faced in our journey of love. I don’t know what you had been waiting for.

February 14th 2016… 17.00pm. The above data was a haux. Gotcha!  You actually took me out to the most serene places in town and we shared that glass of milk. You know I stole that glass and its in my most treasured pile of stuff that I  have stolen from restaurants,  next to the pile of vvip tags I steal from classified events. Hehe they never know am coming.

March 1st 2016… 19.00pm… I bought you a gift… I see how Shiku Wamatumbe looks at you.. she wishes she was in my place. Always hovering around us like a lost puppy. By the way Shiku go get yourself a cat or something. I am tired of you eyeing us. I think that’s why I have been falling down whenever I go because of those witch eyes. You think I’ll die?  Even if I break all my bones he is mine. Now where was I ? This knife I bought you symbolizes all the bad things, Shikus that we need to cut off from our lives. It is my promise to you that I will tinia everything that becomes an obstacle in your way.

April 30th 2016… 13.40pm…I think you must be tired of this. This sukumawiki mama Nani cooked for us tastes like a defaced shoe. It is a combination of rusty cheese, dried and rotten sauce and a vengeful chicken that had been roughly violated by its killer. I can see it in your eyes. The heaviness that you feel in you heart due to this meal. You want to cry but you hold back. Trying to prove that you at strong enough for me. But I don’t mind seeing your tears. So cry baby cry. I got you. Well for this meal. We should just sue the chef. This is a crime that deserves hanging.

My diary is full am out of pages… so as you read this let me go get Shiku Wamatumbe I think she’d serve as a great book to write about my romantic escapades with my one and only love…. Kinyau Kitunguu. I love you babe😘😘😘 I think I am getting too emotion( pun intended)  now. 😢

*skips casually heading towards Shiku’ s house*😇😈

 

 

Fear

Screenshot_2017-04-21-21-26-36.pngI am afraid of letting you see the real me

I cover myself with fake joy and laughter but deep down am worn out from the pain that I have experienced

I am not perfect but I fear that my imperfections will send you away

I hold myself back from telling you when I am sad and angry at you because I can’t quite get myself to open up to you. What if I say something and you opt to go?

I fear making mistakes and wrong decisions. You have your life all figured out and I don’t seem to have a clue of where I am headed to.

This make up and sexy dresses hide the scars on my body,  the acne on my face and the deep burns from my tears

I tell you I love you and open my heart up to you some times and you just go silent. am I that terrifying that you’re embarrassed by me? I need more creams and powder right? I don’t want to lose you that’s all.

I have fallen down,  been trodden on and spit on by those I trusted and my heart doesn’t believe in good people anymore but am still afraid of being alone.

When you look at me sometimes I feel  naked before you. You strip me bear of my innocence and courage. I whimper and cower before you. Am afraid of losing that feeling. I might be weak but at that point I feel the strongest.Strong with unexplained emotions

You hold my hand only as the night falls sometimes.  Seriously,  am I that shameful? Why do you walk with me if you feel that way towards me? Tell me baby. Can’t you see that I am dying here.

Most times I get confused and end up saying nonsense and talking gibberish just coz I lose words to tell you. Not because I have nothing to say but i am just afraid I might say something too forward or words that may seem too condescending  to you.

When you cut me off and act weird towards me it breaks me down. There is a sharp pain in my heart. I hate that feeling but what can I do? Am a fool hit by the cupid arrow. The Ardor Arrow.

They say love is the strongest act of witchcraft. Am I under a spell? Most of my friends think so anyway.  They say I am too good for you and here I am thinking you’re the better one. Huh,,, what a crazy world.

I know am writing this and I seem too confused still. I think i need Ed Sheeran to put my words in place and give me  better direction because I do not know where I am going with this. It’s just that sometimes you can love someone too much and end up not being enough for them.

Maybe am just forcing myself on you and if that is the case then spare me the heartache and tell me. Moving without direction is the most painful disease to man. It kills spirits  and breaks hearts into piece and I don’t want to be a victim of this terrible disease.

…and am out!

This short poem is for all confused and  mentally disturbed girls who feel lost in a love they can’t quite figure out and still hold on to that lost feeling due to fear of losing that little joy and feeling of belonging somewhere.

Loving and being loved back is an amazing feeling but when it is not built on reality then it is just but mere imagination. Be free and be yourself. It is easier said and done trust me I know. I fear speaking my truth and what I feel concerning certain actions but in the end I suffer inside and it does kill me slowly. Not being open leads to built-up pressures and ill feelings. These feelings  will one day burst in the open and the results can be deadly. So let loose and speak your mind. If they can’t take it then they don’t deserve you.

This article has been written to no one specifically. These ate just my own juvenile thoughts. So don't start texting and claiming to be the culprit that has been targeted.

 

My Bucket List

So today I gave a speech on my achievements to a whole imaginary crowd.My mirror was the centre stage and my make up kit was the audience.Sometimes I think am losing it and it doesn’t bother me.You should’ve seen me all dressed and dolled up with my comb as the mic, smiling all the way to the podium( distance from my bed and the mirror).Anyway,I won’t go deep into telling you about it  I’ll save it for the day I get to do it on a live platform in front of a huge audience.

This got me thinking though and I realized there’s so much I need to achieve by 30.Like a lot.I want a future situation where I’ll sit or make a movie with my best friend, sister or my fiancé/husband then and cross out things I’ve achieved.

So, here goes nothing:

1. Own a successful business.I want to go into the events planning business and am still struggling to establish it but I know I will succeed in it.I believe am the best and I go for what I want with everything I have.

2.Get tattoos of an eagle on my thigh and one of a music chord on my arm.These two will be the representation of everything I am about.

3.Be in reality TV show.I’d actually create mine and it’d involve all my friends and family.I face too much drama everyday and it’s not good to experience it on my own.I should share it with y’all.

4.Create a you tube video…okay maybe an account.I talk to myself a lot and am slowly being tagged as the family lunatic.So to save myself from this awkward situation I should establish a you tube account and share my stupid thoughts…haha I can see myself heading to a nut house soon(jk).

5.Sing alongside Rihanna.😍😍😍😍Okay.. I’d love to sing with her, hug her, state at her for like an hour, dine with her, maybe get married in Vegas.. I’d call myself Tess Riri..if only.

6.Dance on a bar.Like go all the way..not girls gone wild far but maybe Pussycat  Dolls far.All sexy and all eyes on me.Shaking that a**, twerking in a bath tub.Dad if you’re reading this am just kidding.

7.Learn Spanish.There’s no sexier language than spanish.I love Sofia Vergara’s accent and how sometimes she just goes all espanol on people’s asses. This might be psychotic but I wish we were colonised by Spaniards coz we’d be speaking Spanish by now.But then I’d be wishing to learn English now.Human beings😏. Anyway I want to learn it and constantly start arguments with my boyfriend just to go all espanol on him. Like ‘Eres el hombre más guapo que he conocido en mi vida’ see I already know a few words.

8.Travel far and wide. My favorite destinations are of course Hawaii, The Maldives, Paris, Seychelles and Abu Dhabi.I want to go to Notre Dame Cathedral, see the Monalisa at the Louvre and put a love lock on Pont Des Art Bridge.

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9.Cook every dish on a cook book and to be specific Kaluhi’s.She’s an amazing chef.Brilliant actually.

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10.Sleep in a haunted house, attend a masquerade party, lodge at an underwater hotel and live on a tree House.

11.Ride in an Aston Martin. This is the car.Most girls love huge cars; Prados, Range Rovers, Jeeps and the like but I love small cars: Mercedes E class, Mazda, yes I think you get the picture.

12.Attend a same-sex wedding. Just to satisfy my curiosity. Maybe be a bridesmaid in one.

13.Be a member of an exclusive club.

14. Be featured in an award-winning Film.I’ll be the dead girl an Jennifer Lawrence, Tistin Mays, Chris Hemsworth and Boris Kodjoe are the detectives investigating the cause of my death.

15. Build a shelter for street kids, start a charity and build a large theatre.

16. Go on a private cruise and travel on a private jet or chopper.

17. Walk on the red carpet of an exquisite event.Wearing the perfect designer gown, amazing shoes, lustrous jewellery and buoyant hair.

18.Have an hour-glass figure.This has been one challenge but am slowly working on it.Clearly the Kardashians are changing people’s lives.I’ve been watching ‘Revenge Body with Khloe’ and girl! She looks fabulous.If I was to compare her to when she was 23 and now at 32, major upgrade.

19.Be on a cover of a magazine.I actually want to publish a magazine and I will.

20. Date Trey Songz for a day or a week maybe and do crazy stuff together like hug the Hollywood sign, go to an aquarium, make funny Snapchat videos, take lots and lots of selfies of me touching his chest and abs, partying in Vegas and at the playboy mansion.Yes we could do all that in a week.

I have a huge list but I won’t mention all of them. I know some are outrageous but what’s a bucket list if not wanting to achieve the unachievable.I like to believe that nothing is impossible. Rihanna might be my next best friend soon who knows.All we need to do is learn to soar high like an eagle and dust yourself up when you fall.

 

So what’s yours?

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The Kenyan Man Part 1.

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

‘You’ll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can’t be with someone who’s standards are that low!’

The first thing that comes to mind when I talk of the Kenyan Man,is the unromantic kind of guy.This has been a song that is now a cliché. It’s even become a declaration that has been officially stamped and mailed to the Queen’s palace:’Kenyan men are not romantic at all!signed ‘Team Mafiset!’Well, I have come to believe that this is  just a weakness that they can’t seem to shake off.It’s like a nightmare that they can’t seem to wake up from.Okay don’t get me wrong some are or at least try…they’ve had some lessons or they have clearly learnt a thing or two from the Notebook and all those movies that they’ve been studying.Them, I do applaud.Just the other day, a lady by the name of Gertrude got proposed to by her boyfriend at the Jomo Kenyatta International Airport, a proposal that caused quite a stir in social media for days. The news was even trending on BBC. It was like the 9th wonder of the world ‘Breaking News: Kenyan Man breaks the internet after he proposes to girlfriend at the JKIA.’It was quite a spectacle. I remember reading it and swallowing jealousy hard.Some women are just so lucky.This gentleman clearly  put most men to shame!

While some are struggling to improve on their romance some are just paralyzed in that sector. I was watching on a program on Maisha Magic East ‘Our Perfect Wedding’ hosted by the lovely Brenda Gakuya, where couples just basically give stories about their relationship, how they met, them falling in love till the wedding day. This special couple sat down to give us their tale, I won’t mention their names for security purposes.I need to maintain my beautiful face or else I’ll be soon be back to being single.So Jane went ahead to explain that they met at a party and how the guy kept on disturbing her and she had to hide from him most of the night.John then explains that Jane kept trying to keep a conversation with him and he was just wondering why she couldn’t leave him be or just join her friends in their merry.He was that bored.I was so perplexed. I don’t think I’d ever go for such a show and let myself get humiliated like that.How can we have two different stories that just seem to show how nagging each of us was? I’d make sure we get our stories straight.We’d sit down and cram our stories like an exam and if  we can’t clearly remember how it went down then this is the part my creativity comes in handy.I’d rather be called a creative liar than just a plain old liar.

They went ahead to narrate the proposal and guy, I don’t want to say he had the nerve, but yes he had the nerve to say she forced him to propose to her.I don’t know why I caught feelings but seriously I felt that relationship was a joke. Okay some ladies, the psychotic ones,do kind of force their men to propose but most just push them towards doing so.Just a lil push.No force.Force is such an ugly word especially on national TV.Who even does that?

To add salt to the injury,Jane continued to describe the proposal and how she went to his place, he had prepared food some wine here and then he presented the box, which was the same box she used when she bought him a tie.You should see my eyes right now.I am just so pissed off.I am even tired of writing this story.Like what?! You know if you don’t want to do something just don’t do it.No one ever said you must have a wedding.Get married in the AG’s office or at the chief(don’t know if they do conduct marriage ceremonies but you get my drift).I know it’s a box but please don’t use the same one.This is like the epitome of a relationship.We will always remember our engagement.Forever.I don’t want to think of it when am older and see that same box I put your boxers in was the same box my diamond rock was placed in.I ts not even legal.I should dial 999 on your ass bruh!

Jane then went on to drop the hugest bomb.He didn’t kneel.Not that he couldn’t but that’s not his style.He just sat there and passed over the ring like it was some piece of  dried meat.’Here…this is what you wanted right?So is it a yes or no?’ I don’t think I’d even have the patience to listen to that bullshit.I’d just walk out.You don’t ask me to take off time from my busy schedule to give me such a mediocre night.This is woman you love or at least pretend to love. You won’t die if you kneel or just be sweet.Lord

To crown it.John Doe decided he didn’t care about the venue, decor, seats, practically everything that needed to be planned.Jane negotiated with the caterers, the grounds men, the florists; she organised the tents and where each seat would be.The place was muddy and she just bore with the pressure and soldiered on to give herself the best day of her life.I really felt pity on her.She was happy and maybe still is happy with this dude but I think she is just the most unlucky lady to grace this land.When a full-grown man just waits for his woman to work on everything, a day that’s meant to be their special day, then that’s just sad.

I don’t think I have more to say.This guy was just a joke.He humiliated Kenyan men. I was even ashamed on his behalf.I have this tendency of changing the station when something humiliating come up or when someone keeps insisting on humiliating themselves but this time I watched it all.I took it all in like a knight.The ‘dont care’ attitude and everything this man is about was just a shame.A big, fat, excessively obese shame!

Anyway whoever they are I hope they’re happy and that the guy changes his ways because nothing is ever permanent, even robbers turn into fine pastors.All in all, as I’ve always said make your woman happy.Or at least try to if she doesn’t appreciate even the little you try then she is the problem.

Till we meet again…Adios!

Kenyan Man Part 2 will be posted soon.See you then.Please remember to give your feedback.I’ll be humbled.Thank-you .😘

23

2587055_orig.png‘Oh Tess you’re now 23…time to get your ass up, hustle, move out of your mum’s house, eat right, save and invest, settle and stop getting bored with people.You’re grown..get a life!’ My sub-conscious can be so ruthless sometimes. I think when Riley from the ‘Inside out’movie was  getting those amazing and balanced emotions ‘Joy, sadness, disgust, fear and anger’ my head was just filled with anger and disgust.I think joy and the rest of the crew were dead by then or they just skipped by and said ‘oh well, she needs all the anger she can get.’ Poor me😥

Anyway, I turned 23 on 26th October..yes we share a birthday with Ciara and our dear president Uhuru.So it goes without saying that y’all should read this blog with so much vigour or else when I become your president you’ll carry  placards around town written ‘Nixxy is the coolest’, failure to which a heavy punishment will be bestowed on you and I mean 😉heavy.So my birthday wasn’t much of a big deal this time, just drank with my booboo..miss popcorns.Gee thanks a lot.I’ll never forget the superb surprise and for all those who remembered, this is the part I give a whole list of people who contributed to me getting an Oscar, beans, greens, tomatoes, potatoes, chicken, lamb, beef you name it! Honestly I don’t know where that came from.I’ve just secretly wanted to put that grandmas list on my blog for quite sometime now🙈.Beryl, B,B2, Yvette, Marsh I adore y’all so much.It was simple and relaxed which was an actual surprise to me considering I go all flamboyant on my birthday parties and make it rain like rain man.(There goes my hidden talent, rapping).

I’ve cut down on going out to clubs and shaking my ass here and there and instead I’ve come to prefer a quiet drink with an amazing friend, my boyfriend or any other interesting company. You can always juggle two things at the same time, having fun and making money through wise conversations.Dont get me wrong though, I still go clubbing but once in a while.I remember a time when I’d club from Sunday to Sunday and still make it to class at 7am on Monday.If I’d do that now I think you’d find me in the ICU fighting for my liver.It’s already destroyed, more destruction would cause system failure.

Am more focused and driven to be successful.I want to achieve so many things by 25; get married, have 10 kids, move to the Maldives, have my own private jet, get pregnant with Bey twins, tip on my chair, Rob Adele of her Grammy awards, get Ryan Gosling to be my side dish..yeah so much stuff.😂Cool down,am not that psychotic..maybe a little but not to that extent. All I want to do is make wise investments, smart business decisions and clear the path to the great future I have planned.Am starting to get a grip of what being independent means, not relying on your parents for the smallest things like getting your hair done and what having a vision of your goals mean.Because let’s be real, this is the prime time of our lives  to either build or shatter our empires.

My relationship with God has improved and now I believe that nothing is impossible. I pray for everything..every tiny detail about my life be it my health, relationship, my day, food, money and friends. I am learning that no matter what your past is, the amount of baggage and sins you’ve committed, God will always forgive you.I feel like crying right now coz I think no one has more baggage than I do.There’s a time I used to tell my cousin that am so prepared to go to hell and right now I don’t even know what hell is.Like, where is it on Google maps? God is the ultimate truth and King.Just believe and you’ll get what you ask from Him!

Finally, Nixxy, the one that thought love was stupid, just an excuse from people to make themselves feel better, is in love. On 31st of December 2016 I saw a post on IG from a guy known as Rahousmane a gif, and the words you’d screenshot would be your manifestation for 2017 and mine landed on me getting a new bae and I found him.A guy who motivates me everyday, the kind of guy who makes me happy even when I’m asleep, I don’t try to act like someone else when am around him, I think I’m more me when with him than when with my mum.Of course I can’t start telling my mum she has cute dimples or that she should get checked at mathare or I’d find myself locked up in mathare.He thinks I’m stupid.. good stupid though and he has the most amazing heart and smile.The little things he does for me even that red gift hanging on my wall, hehe, his passion about what he wants to achieve, the care and giving hand he has just makes me want to be his slave and cheerleader everyday.I’ve fallen hard and with a huge bang.There are so many things I can write about him here but am no-show off.Am just happy.Very happy. Baby wherever you are I love you so much😘.Those who are envious eat a razor(wenye wivu kuleni wembe).

23 has been great so far and as I move on, I wish to achieve more.This is my time and am not planning to ruin it by any chance.As Gaum Ja Ndi says on boys with flowers, ‘Nixxy fighting’ all the way.

Fin!