The first time you met, sparks, were flying, he/she made you see color when all you saw in the past was black and white. It was exciting, something new, someone new, new experiences. You would make plans, go for dates, do crazy things only the two of you knew about. You couldn’t wait for them to call or text. The flirting was out-of-this-world, quite literally.!
Six months down the line, things start to feel a little old. You wonder if you are comfortable with each other or you are just bored with your ‘situationship.’ Am I truly bored? Is my partner not the right one for me?
Well, there are a few things or signs if you may, that can help you distinguish whether it’s boredom or comfort.
One, boredom, is never desired in any relationship. However, if you’ve hit a long rut of boredom, you might just be at the end of the line with this relationship.
The other, comfort, is actually wonderful. It means you and your partner are being yourselves, and you are happy together. It’s something that naturally happens in a loving relationship.
So which is it?
Here are five differences between boredom and comfort. By reading these, you will be able to tell the next step in your love.
1. If You Are Bored, You Desire Something New. However, if Comfortable You Are Perfect with the Situation
Boredom means: you feel stuck, you can’t wait for some new adventure and you prefer being around your friend than your partner because, with them, it’s always the same old love/stuff.
You yearn for something new and different.
The thing about boredom is that you will feel like you’ve exhausted all of the options with your partner.
Comfort, on the other hand, comes with ‘no’ desire for anything new. You feel at home and relaxed. Your partner is your home. They are the person you want to be with to let your guard down from the outside world, and at the end of each day, they are the person you want to be close to and cuddle with.
When you compare the two, comfort is definitely the better emotion for long-term love. If you feel like you want something new, then you may just be bored.
2. When Bored, You Look for Solutions Whereas Comfort is Fine, All is Well.
If you are bored, you are desperately trying to find a solution. After all, boredom transcribes to; lack of options and excitement. So it will be natural for you to look for ways to remedy that.
In a relationship, a “solution” could be you are either trying to spice things up with your partner, or it could be a means to an ending; you need someone new.
When you are comfortable, however, you will feel great. It will be like the two of you were meant to be together, and you don’t need any spicing up or ‘swinging’ adventures.
If comfort is what you feel, then your relationship will last for the long haul.
3. When Bored You Feel Unhappy; Comfort Means Happiness
If you are in a boring relationship, you feel like your partner isn’t cutting it and you have no desire to be with them anymore. You feel stagnant as if you are in a stunted position.
So, if it’s boredom you are experiencing, it might be time to examine whether the two of you are better without each other.
With comfort, on the other hand, you feel happy and ecstatic that you found someone who just seems to get you — someone with whom you can just be yourself.
4. If You Are Bored You Want Out; If You Are Comfortable, You Feel Safe
So, you feel unhappy and stagnated…so what’s next?
The next phase of a boring relationship is separation. You look for reasons why you should break up. The small arguments turn into a mount hill of problems, his friends become irritable, you don’t look forward to seeing him anymore and you no longer respond to his/her texts.
If you have thought it through and realize that you’re bored and unhappy, there’s not much that you can do. Sure, you could work on it, but after a certain point, you might just realize that the two of you aren’t meant to be.
With comfort, however, it’s a totally different ball game. You feel safe in his/her arms, you feel secure and you do not want to leave.
Boredom might precede a breakup. Comfort will definitely precede a lifelong love.
5. When You Are Bored You Are Restless; If You Are Comfortable, You Feel Peaceful
Boredom comes with a feeling of restlessness. You feel unhappy and unable to come up with exciting plans for you and your partner. You feel stale and you can’t wait to ‘left’ this relationship.
You are itching to do something, anything, to relieve your boredom.
Comfort, on the other hand, comes with a tremendous feeling of peacefulness. You start questioning your past experiences. This experience is new and you just want to be with your partner.
Well, there is a time when everything seems just ‘meh’ in a relationship. If you feel you have come to a point where you are not excited, try to talk to your partner. Discuss your solutions and how to make the relationship better. Do not die of boredom.
If, however, nothing changes then it is time to move on.
The true difference between being bored and being comfortable in a relationship is actually quite stark. Comfort comes with a lot of other positive emotions; boredom mostly comes with negative ones. It, however, takes two to tango. So you have to determine your own path.
So, if you feel like you are in a rut, use these tips to figure out what you’re feeling. You will be glad you did so that you can determine the next best step for your relationship!