The Kenyan Man Part 1.

'You'll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can't be with someone who's standards are that low!'

‘You’ll marry me? Really? Then forget it! I can’t be with someone who’s standards are that low!’

The first thing that comes to mind when I talk of the Kenyan Man,is the unromantic kind of guy.This has been a song that is now a cliché. It’s even become a declaration that has been officially stamped and mailed to the Queen’s palace:’Kenyan men are not romantic at all!signed ‘Team Mafiset!’Well, I have come to believe that this is  just a weakness that they can’t seem to shake off.It’s like a nightmare that they can’t seem to wake up from.Okay don’t get me wrong some are or at least try…they’ve had some lessons or they have clearly learnt a thing or two from the Notebook and all those movies that they’ve been studying.Them, I do applaud.Just the other day, a lady by the name of Gertrude got proposed to by her boyfriend at the Jomo Kenyatta International Airport, a proposal that caused quite a stir in social media for days. The news was even trending on BBC. It was like the 9th wonder of the world ‘Breaking News: Kenyan Man breaks the internet after he proposes to girlfriend at the JKIA.’It was quite a spectacle. I remember reading it and swallowing jealousy hard.Some women are just so lucky.This gentleman clearly  put most men to shame!

While some are struggling to improve on their romance some are just paralyzed in that sector. I was watching on a program on Maisha Magic East ‘Our Perfect Wedding’ hosted by the lovely Brenda Gakuya, where couples just basically give stories about their relationship, how they met, them falling in love till the wedding day. This special couple sat down to give us their tale, I won’t mention their names for security purposes.I need to maintain my beautiful face or else I’ll be soon be back to being single.So Jane went ahead to explain that they met at a party and how the guy kept on disturbing her and she had to hide from him most of the night.John then explains that Jane kept trying to keep a conversation with him and he was just wondering why she couldn’t leave him be or just join her friends in their merry.He was that bored.I was so perplexed. I don’t think I’d ever go for such a show and let myself get humiliated like that.How can we have two different stories that just seem to show how nagging each of us was? I’d make sure we get our stories straight.We’d sit down and cram our stories like an exam and if  we can’t clearly remember how it went down then this is the part my creativity comes in handy.I’d rather be called a creative liar than just a plain old liar.

They went ahead to narrate the proposal and guy, I don’t want to say he had the nerve, but yes he had the nerve to say she forced him to propose to her.I don’t know why I caught feelings but seriously I felt that relationship was a joke. Okay some ladies, the psychotic ones,do kind of force their men to propose but most just push them towards doing so.Just a lil push.No force.Force is such an ugly word especially on national TV.Who even does that?

To add salt to the injury,Jane continued to describe the proposal and how she went to his place, he had prepared food some wine here and then he presented the box, which was the same box she used when she bought him a tie.You should see my eyes right now.I am just so pissed off.I am even tired of writing this story.Like what?! You know if you don’t want to do something just don’t do it.No one ever said you must have a wedding.Get married in the AG’s office or at the chief(don’t know if they do conduct marriage ceremonies but you get my drift).I know it’s a box but please don’t use the same one.This is like the epitome of a relationship.We will always remember our engagement.Forever.I don’t want to think of it when am older and see that same box I put your boxers in was the same box my diamond rock was placed in.I ts not even legal.I should dial 999 on your ass bruh!

Jane then went on to drop the hugest bomb.He didn’t kneel.Not that he couldn’t but that’s not his style.He just sat there and passed over the ring like it was some piece of  dried meat.’Here…this is what you wanted right?So is it a yes or no?’ I don’t think I’d even have the patience to listen to that bullshit.I’d just walk out.You don’t ask me to take off time from my busy schedule to give me such a mediocre night.This is woman you love or at least pretend to love. You won’t die if you kneel or just be sweet.Lord

To crown it.John Doe decided he didn’t care about the venue, decor, seats, practically everything that needed to be planned.Jane negotiated with the caterers, the grounds men, the florists; she organised the tents and where each seat would be.The place was muddy and she just bore with the pressure and soldiered on to give herself the best day of her life.I really felt pity on her.She was happy and maybe still is happy with this dude but I think she is just the most unlucky lady to grace this land.When a full-grown man just waits for his woman to work on everything, a day that’s meant to be their special day, then that’s just sad.

I don’t think I have more to say.This guy was just a joke.He humiliated Kenyan men. I was even ashamed on his behalf.I have this tendency of changing the station when something humiliating come up or when someone keeps insisting on humiliating themselves but this time I watched it all.I took it all in like a knight.The ‘dont care’ attitude and everything this man is about was just a shame.A big, fat, excessively obese shame!

Anyway whoever they are I hope they’re happy and that the guy changes his ways because nothing is ever permanent, even robbers turn into fine pastors.All in all, as I’ve always said make your woman happy.Or at least try to if she doesn’t appreciate even the little you try then she is the problem.

Till we meet again…Adios!

Kenyan Man Part 2 will be posted soon.See you then.Please remember to give your feedback.I’ll be humbled.Thank-you .😘



  1. Ngibuini · March 2, 2017

    Great post. You kept my attention. I, being a Kenyan man however don’t like being stereotyped.


    • breetess22 · March 3, 2017

      I hate stereotypes but when people keep behaving the same way then the smaller percentage of men who do their best suffers.We always follow the majority.


    • breetess22 · March 3, 2017

      Thanks though I appreciate the feedback☺

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yvette · March 3, 2017

    How can that lady stay with such a man? Was itva forced marriage by the parents? Those two are together for something else, not love…


    • breetess22 · March 3, 2017

      Probably..I mean that’s just bad.Then the wedding was done in such a hurry.


  3. clearyourvoice · March 3, 2017

    Great piece


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