The Art of Flirting

Flirting…as per the dictionary it’s just behaving as though attracted to or trying to attract someone, but for amusement rather than with serious intentions.But according to our generation it’s behaving as though attracted to someone with very heavy sexual intentions.I have been accused not once but severally of being a big flirt.C’mon am just a journalist who loves interacting with people and most times it’s a bit too much I agree but it’s mostly harmless conversations with NO hidden intentions.Am a black and white kind of person.

I can’t count the guys I’ve flirted with and then later invited for a date or dinner with the aim of bagging this hot babe only for me to shut them down harshly. Well, that’s usually once in a while.Most times I’m always the one who makes suggestive suggestions to only get you to do what I want.😜

‘Are you home today?’ that according to me means do you have food or something coz I’m broke and I need some place I can crush.You’re my food bae and I know you love and can’t at one point miss a plate of ready made food. You also love random hook-ups so I’ll come eat and give you nonsensical gossip about some hot girl,even show you her pictures and give you a blocked number then I’ll  insist that the girl has been eyeing you for a while now.You’ll be impressed..duh!..and you’ll probably offer to give me some take away snacks and gladly invite me to dinner the next day which will involve you cooking chicken and me coming with the pretty lady who I’ll come with by the way,I always have a backup plan but she will eventually make you her food bae too.

‘So what are you up to? In need of company?’ Always decipher that to…she needs a place to just relax, drink and dance. At this point am exhausted and I know you have a bottle of good whiskey in your cabinet so I can drink as much as I want.You can also insist on going out so that’s a huge plus. You’re my partying boyfriend.We can tell guys we’re dating but you’ll never get a kiss from me.A peck maybe🙊🙊. You’ll try severally to lure me back to your place but I’ll always insist on going back to my place of which you’ll be fed up by my nagging and you’ll drop me home.

‘Am home it’s very cold.Do you have any movies we can watch?’ Am lazy.I don’t want to step out and go buy food and a movie to keep me busy.You will come… obviously with some movies like four or five and along the way I’ll send you a by the way text begging you to buy me food too so that ‘we’ can cook and I’ll probably pay you later.😇You’ll come expecting to have a Netflix and chill kinda time only to find me in the ugliest pajamas, a odd colored turban and some rainbow socks.I am also a bit sick and keep blowing my running nose in seconds.

I’m mean, I know but you make it too easy. Don’t read too much into girls statements or you’ll be disappointed. Sometimes we just use our feminism to get what we want..okay scratch that.We always use our feminism to get what we want, which we always get but don’t be fooled.

Nevertheless, sometimes we can flirt with guys because we want them, or he’s cute and we always want to be around him.But you will know when the flirting is righteous if there are…some fake laughs even though you’re not funny.A few stares and winks, some you’re welcome for tea at my place. Plenty of smileys and blown kisses on texts. The constant need to know every tiny detail about you especially your love life.Touching, even what seems like an accidental touch.Or the picking something up together(movies lie).We drop something intentionally then when you’re about to pick it up we also pretend to be picking it so our hands can meet of which only painful headbangs are the result of the carefully schemed plan.Haha.Ive been a victim of this.

All in all I think if you want something from someone be direct.Going around the bush is just stupid really.If you like someone tell them so that if you’ll be disappointed at least it’ll be at an early stage.If you want to date them be vocal or chatty whether you get a yes or no atleast you’ll have gotten something of your chest.

Fin!

What’s the weirdest flirting vibe you’ve gotten from someone?

Cheers and may you have an amazing week.